is your mom at the bar?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
