afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
