Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
