can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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