my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
