so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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