So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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