Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
