I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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