what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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