you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
