Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it because I queefed?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
