you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
