I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
