I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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