Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize