If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have aggressive nipples.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
