i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
