Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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