we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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