Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
