I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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