Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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