I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
