just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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