im having a threesome with these popsicles
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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