Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I still have a little drunk in my system
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Terrible idea I love it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
