She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My balls are so social today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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