Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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