This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am available for nakedness
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize