how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
