I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
