maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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