You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
