Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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