my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
