Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
