Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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