and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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