why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
