I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
