I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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