that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
