Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
