I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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