I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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