whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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