No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
