Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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