Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i should start naming my morning wood

(201): View more from New Jersey

great idea but wrong number

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(541): View more from Oregon

i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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(845): View more from New York

Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?

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(631): View more from New York

Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

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(254): View more from Texas

when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

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(303): View more from Colorado

My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.

Fav 2 219 79
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