Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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