I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
