Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
