You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize