I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize