the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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