did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
