i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
