Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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