she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
