i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
