Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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