i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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